The more that I get in touch with people with disabilities through my work and my private life, the more I realise how there are two big factions: those that break every limit, and those that don’t get anything done at all. There’s a neutral zone in-between, but the extremes are quite obvious.
That one group writes books, travels the world, develops apps and campaigns to better the world, lives life to the fullest and shows even people without disability what’s possible if you only set your mind on it. They raise families, found companies, have huge circles of friends and a health (apart from the disability) that will make every organic farmer blush with shame.
The other group sits at home and cries because everything in life is so difficult, and they wait for a magical fairy to deliver them the perfect life on a silver plate. But if that fairy does not deem it necessary to show up to do her work, then they keep sitting on their butts as well. “Not my fault that I’m disabled. When’s this entire inclusion thing happening anyway, no wonder I can’t do anything. And can someone tell that magic fairy that I’m still waiting? Tell her to hurry up, after all I want a life too you know.”
To distinguish the two groups quickly is easy:
One will ask:
“What do I have to do?”
and the other:
“Whose fault is it?”
I’ve been trying for a while now to find out what’s causing the difference between those two groups. Upbringing? Environment? Intelligence? Maybe there’s a gene for heroes and cry babies? I have no idea. Not a clue. Perhaps all of this has a bit of an influence. But the last thing I want to do here is give the cry babies an excuse.
“Ha! My upbringing is to blame! Now we know. They screwed it up!”
When I am presenting I often explain the most important thing that I learnt in my life:
I have to take responsibility for everything in my life.
It’s very easy to give someone else the blame and then wait for them to change something. Surprise: that means you’ll probably wait forever.
Don’t get me wrong – in many cases, it’s really not one’s own fault. But we still have to take responsibility for it. Responsibility for how we’re going to handle it, and what we’re going to do about it.
Will we ask: What do I have to do?
Or will we ask: Whose fault is it?
That’s what makes Heroes.
Where in your life do you have to start taking responsibility?